I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
kicked my backpack and turned on my vibrator in the middle of class. success.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I'd say the best part of the party was when you screamed to everyone that you were gettin dome on the reg
You then proceeded to tell me how good of a cook you were and put raw cookie dough in the champagne.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
Totally uneven. One tiny pussy lip that almost didn't exist and one giant lip that unfurled liked 5 different times half way down her leg and could have been used to hoist the mainsail on a pirate ship.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
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