Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
the repo guy said it was the first time he'd ever started to repo a car with someone fucking inside of it. he might have said 'doing it' instead.
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
Completely unrelated and mildly related, a guy I hooked up with last year in a threeway died, his obit photo was his Grindr photo
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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