okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
I got here. Mom yelled "drink of the day is blueberry sangria" and next thing I knew I was on a slip and slide.
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