i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
HOW DO YOU GET TO BE A GROWN-UP AND NOT KNOW WHAT A DECADE IS!?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
This is my gift to your gina
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
Randomize
