Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
Does getting a boner while watching the celtic women sing opera on ETV make me cultured?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
You wrote me a check. For zero dollars. For my soul. Dick.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Randomize
