We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
Just assessed the damage in the bath. Two love bites. One bruise on the inner thigh. Strange awareness of what i'm assuming is my cervix. I've definitely missed you. x
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
This family outing has commenced with me throwing up in an apple orchard
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Dilemas of the modern woman: deciding whether or not to write on your ex's wall for his birthday. This is serious.
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
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