Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Everything was going good until she wanted to update her status...You forgot to close pterodactyl porn from this morning. Clothes went back on.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
Apparently I handcuffed myself to the dishwasher...
So Blakes coming home... so if youre like fingerbanging the shit out of yourself on the kitchen table...wrap it up
Randomize
