I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
doesn't matter. i just recorded the power rangers theme song on my phone. and its loud. was thinking we could use it as our entrance song as we walk into bars.
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
so how does soaking flintstones gummy vitamins in vodka not make perfect sense
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
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