do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
Seriously wondering if smoking a bowl for lunch was a bad idea.
OR THE BEST. STAY TUNED.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
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