eh.. i should've known it was headed downhill after he used the phrase "pussy sundae"
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm stoned in an empty parking lot listening to dave matthews while looking for a lighter.... I feel like I sent this 7 years ago.
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
I'm currently trying to decide if crown or wild turkey will hurt worse coming back out through my nose later.
Ugh why does it have to be margarita Monday. Why can't it be pants off dance off beer pong but with jager Monday.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
I got inside last night via doggy door
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
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