yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
To be honest i'm almost glad he got arrested. His girlfriend and i kept making out so i'm pretty sure the alternative was a threesome. Now we're just the trashy girls who visit him in jail.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Maybe I'm nitpicking, but that looked more like how one would jerk off an elephant than it did playing air guitar.
I appreciate you letting me know that the bird died but why didn't you do something about the corpse? or at least give me a heads up that it was still in the cage..Jesus
you have no idea how hungover I am. I can't deal with death right now.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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