I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
Well I'm 85-90% sure that he licked syrup off my body, but no guarantees...
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
We always end up having sex in random places after class. I need to stop letting this dude borrow my pens.
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
I can show you the world. Shining, splimbering vaginaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Last night I drank three beers and threw up in a tree house. I am ashamed.
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