Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
Wish i knew who the f is sending me pics of asian newborns.
Listen. I'm a changed woman. I have no problem using him for sex.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
it's been dubbed the summer of antibiotics
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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