And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
He just gave a drunken 7 minute speech on how to make the perfect grilled cheese. he explained types of butter and cheeses....i think i love him
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
im breathing rainbows and everyone is talking in bubbles whatever you gave me give me more
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
I got a blow torch for Christmas. You are now permitted to be afraid.
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
i keep replaying things i did last night. and remembering new things. and its a constant cycle of torture
Randomize
