I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Ice skating? Did you see me last night? I don't even know where my socks are
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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