he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
So I realized I was officially over him when I was getting a lap dance on the keg bus at 3am from his old boss and I was double fisting:)
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
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