I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
Randomize
