I am puke
what's the vibe there?
extraordinary amounts of gine
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
It'll be just me and my penis against the world.
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
I'm too over dressed and drunk for this emergency vets office
who gets drunk at chipotle by noon and then gets kicked out? this chick.
I know you would never do it--but if I ever walk into your house and find a "live love laugh" ANYTHING, I will commit you to an asylum. If it is a vinyl decal adhered to the wall, I will just smother you myself.
Randomize
