we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
I think your dad took our porno
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
You ghosted you're own booty call. Wow what a sad sad man.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Randomize
