her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
This titty bar has wifi. I just did FaceTime stage side
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I got kicked out of the men's bathroom at the diner last night because i was straddling the sink attempting to pee with pants on. Beat that.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
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