I just had to explain to my father, how having two screens plugged into my computer doesn't use more internet.
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Became friends with a girl at work today until I realized we have the same taste in men. And I thought only I liked red-bearded fat men
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
