I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Being with her was like shitty sexual fear factor big ass sausage nipples over sized outty belly button i was scared and drunk tell know one
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I'm going to bed early so football can come sooner
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
One of the guys just came in and goes "i walked all the way home with a pumpkin". Night just got better.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
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