btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
Okay, first we buy a pirate outfit and then we get drunk, you in or you out?
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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