its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
I just want you to know the floor between our rooms isnt sound proof "Captain Cock"
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Like I owe him sex. Hell fucking no. I owe myself sex. With a celebrity. Or a clean pornstar. Who knows.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
I woke up to the smell of shame and vomit in my hair... went to the bathroom to shower and passed out... woke back up naked with the blow dryer on... thanks for making my birthday a success
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