dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
meet me in the bathroom in 10 mins.
wait what? who are you hooking up with in the bathroom?!
aww shit wrong text.
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
Pretty sure I just has te same conversation as you. He suggested I get, sell, and fuck the hoes, and once all was said and done, that I should refer afforementioned hoes to him, to perform felatio.
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
His penis could choke an elephant. A baby elephant... But an elephant non the less.
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Randomize
