Last night was a blur. All I remember is jizzing in the squeegee bucket at a gas station.
The look on the soccer mom's face was PRICELESS.
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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