I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
I know you're very busy with sleep and things, but when you wake up we need to talk about weirdly shaped penises.
Urgent. Do not ignore. What does this "=$" shit mean. Quality foreign dick is at stake here
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
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