i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
The kid across the hall found me in the hallway using a hot pocket box as a pillow. I said its okay I live here.
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Its been 4 years since I have masturbated this hard. God bless the Olympics!
I should rephrase... I'm trying to not sit on other peoples faces besides my boyfriends.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
