I wanna passion pit in your ass
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
I spiked my fruit smoothie. Taking bikini season diet to a whole new level
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Come share oat with me in your robe
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
Randomize
