Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Great way to live...just blowing loads on upholstery
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Bruh why you gotta judge
You're awake at 3:30 in the morning RSVPing to a musical, I'm well within my means
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
Randomize
