How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize