You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I'm deleting all the photos of dicks off my phone. This relationship could be serious
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
Randomize
