they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Just got stuck in an elevator on campus with a ton of British guys. My pants almost pulled themselves down.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
