I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
Since my computer broke, i've been masterbating to girls gone wild. I feel like i'm in the 90's.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I have no idea. There are 6 asians singing hey soul sister to me right now.
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
I was convinced to buy a man thong.
But it's Armani so it's okay.
God I just out gayed myself.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
Randomize
