is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Dude, she literally just asked me if her mac'n'cheese makes me horny. I think I found the one.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Id like to submit an apology whenever you feel like talking.
Its not gonna be for awhile Im not a very forgiving person especially since you TOTALED MY FUCKING CAR.
I just asked my mom if I could be the drunk realitive at the reunion. She said as long as I'm not obvious.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
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