FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I just walked in on my roommates playing baseball with old vegetables and a bigass knife.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
I thought I was invisible, then some guy flashed his high beams at me and I realized my lights weren't on...not invisible.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
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