I discovered the grieving process is shock, denial, anger...and then something about drinking until you puke on yourself
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
I'm about to turn myself in when I'm less hungover.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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