would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
That was so not worth putting pants on for.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
If he ever pulls my hair again, I'm going to conveniently have lock jaw. Then he can decide whether pain during sex is still fucking appealing.
Randomize
