We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
I want him to get the hint. I sent 4 texts that only said "sex."
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
My one night stand found me at the library and randomly gave me plan B. He was scared I was going to get pregnant because he has a very high sperm count.
You convinced me that eggnog and rum is a great moisturizer.
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
Sign she's a keeper: "I would rather be late to brunch than waste a perfectly good boner."
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Hooked up with a straight guy while dressed as a man. I'm unstoppable.
Dude she smelled like bar-b-que sauce. I can't think of anything better.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
All I recall is being at the strip club doing dark rum shots and then puking a question mark on the wall above the garbage can in the men's room and having diarrhea in the sink. 6th drunkest I've ever been without blacking out.
Randomize
