explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
he just sent me a picture of his penis sticking through a piece of paper that he had drawn a stick figure with tits on it that said "you"
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
She said we "made love." I had to explain to her that when both parties agree that the first time time they have sex both people agree to video tape the whole thing its not "making love" but more like random good time fun sex.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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