I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
My drunk body wants to fuck you so bad, but my high mind is telling me it's too much work. I think I'm just gonna stay home and eat some Mac and cheese. Sorry.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
If your night didn't end with writing a witness report for the cops at a shwarma place, your night was probably less interesting than mine.
He made a toga out of my hot pink bed sheets and cracked an egg on his head. Then he proceeded to alphabetize our DVD collection, which was impressive because I'm 99% sure he couldn't have done that sober.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
