Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I had my own version of the Hangover last night. I woke up to a disassembled Christmas tree, shit on the futon, and a hamster in the bathroom with a necklace on that said "Feed Me Bitch." I don't own a hamster. I don't know what I drank last night, but I want to do it again.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Only I could dislocate my ribcage coaching volleyball and still want to get drunk tonight.
The cure for a hangover evidently is not walking around in a costume in the sun towards of park of screaming children
Randomize
