I'm so glad you managed to take a picture of your foreskin before you broke my camera.
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
on a brighter note, the strip club found my atm card
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Well... Chad blew off half of his hand last night. We were able to find most of it.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
