no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
I knew it was gonna be a rough night when the guys next to us at Relay for Life started shot gunning beers and yelling "This ones for all the hot chicks that went bald because of cancer". It kinda went downhill from there....
I feel like I'm on let's make a deal. should I go with what's behind bulge number 1 or bulge number 2?
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I just wanna get drunk in a castle. Is that so much to ask?
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
