I spent a large portion of the night trying unsuccessfully to keep hayley (who was wearing a dress and no underwear) from doing handstands, but yea it was fun. the boys had fun
He gets creativity points for the hot sauce. But it may be awhile until my nipples forgive him
I told him the truth. Truth leads to vodka. Vodka leads to tequila. Tequila leads to prison.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Sent him a picture of my pregnant boobs from last year, think he'll notice the difference?
This is true. I'm still having Jess write "no drugs" on my left hand and "except weed" on my right hand
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
I'm so sad at the lack of dick in my life I am going to get sauced and make rice krispy treats
Certain restrictions may apply. Common side effects of sex with me include unbridled joy, a healthy glow, soreness and the inability to walk for short to long amounts of time. If any of these side effects occur please consult your physician, so he/she can prescribe me a "high-five".
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