How bad was it?
You ran around telling everyone that you were going to click them to death on google earth
I would give up sex for lent, but I think Jesus would understand that I went too long without it to go back now.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
I try not to have friends with attractive fathers, it only brings my morals down.
Toppless hop-scotch needs to become a competitive sport
last thing I remember was someone walking in on me sitting in the bathtub listening and singing along to Britney spears "Till the world ends" on repeat.
Accepting his friend request would be the Facebook equivalent of pity sex.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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