We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
how do I tell the students with a crush on me, that yes, I am open to receiving blowjobs in exchange for grades?
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
My roommate's all sad and is crying and the chick I want to bang is in the room and Nic Cage is on fire. What the fuck.
Oh yeah forgot to mention that I referred to myself as the oral sex heavyweight champion last night
I hope after we constantly bang for 2 days straight we can agree to be friends again
If you take a couple more shots you won't even know he's a mormon that drives a mini van.
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
I made out with drunk Joe Dirt and then put his mullet wig on for him. True Halloween romance.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
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