Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
I have been standing totally still for the past 6 minutes because I was convinced my foot was tied to the ground. It turns out it was a string of hair strewn across my foot
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Not exactly sure why you felt the need to get the halloween decorations out. But waking up to 7 carved pumpkins really scares the shit out of you.
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
all of these bad things happened because I didn't bring a shower beer.
You literally just told me you're ditching me because of pizza. PIZZA? Wow.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
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