I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Do vagina's smell?
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
I kno. She bruised her chin trying to swim thru the hardwood floor.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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