Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
she made me cum so hard I dislocated my jaw. I'm keeping her
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
