Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
Dude pussy is like music. For every person who pays for it, there are thousands more getting it for free.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Blow jobs in the hobby lobby parking lot, oh lawd there gonna pray for me when they review those tapes ...
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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