Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
you told grandpa to call you daddy
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Did you ask me to bring you a t-shirt to class or did I just dream that?
No, I did. It's a long story.
I walked in her room to find her rubbing lotion on her face high as fuck.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
She's in labor and I'm doing shots. Whose the real winner here?
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize