I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
remember when I told you about my grandma asking me about my sex scars? Less comfortable than that
It's like a new game! Find out if he's circumcised without actually seeing it
We're not piercing ourselves today.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
Yes I am wallowing. There is a significant lack of cookie dough
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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