I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
He googled "how long will i be drunk" and just started crying
The cops forgot your handle of tequila when they took you away. Taking shots in your honor amigo
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Hey by the way did you notice my third nipple in my snapchat
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
The memory of your penis haunts me. I must learn to be satisfied with lesser men than you.
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