You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
seriously this is one of those moments where im glad i dont really talk to or know the people i sleep with
Well said.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
Just ran into my ex in the WOMENS bathroom. He said I did this to him. Swore he never wore my clothes but said he liked my skirt. I need vodka.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You know I love you more than life itself, but love has its limits. And so help me god, if you bail on me, I will fucking watch the last Game of Thrones episode without you.
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Randomize
