Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
this whole plan B standoff thing with her is really starting to make me nervous
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
He was referring to me as "Teenage Dream" the whole night
have you ever tried to puke in an automatic flushing toilet? impossible
The strippers who live across the street set up a decently professional stage on their front balcony and a banner for a go fund me... I think we're gonna get a show.
Randomize
