I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
it's like iHOP with fire
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet
Enjoy the penises
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Btw, you owe me. One (1) orgasm.
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
