covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
Was having a panic attack, but I'm out of xanax. Substituting with vodka shots and breathing exercises. My therapist will be proud, yes?
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
Well you fished my watch out of a possibly vomit filled toilet so I think we're bros now.
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
We just had an accidental Facebook titty pic scare.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
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