my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Plus i lost a button on my shirt and we got free drinks all night. Sorry I'm not sorry.
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I flashed my boobs, shit my pants, and kissed the wrong twin. I'm on a roll you don't want in on.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
thanks for not wanting to stay all night or talk or anything, nice to have a fuck buddy who really doesnt take the buddy part serious
I'm all about the fuck
Randomize
