Reminder- he's a douche bag. A big one.
How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
ok so i jsut did the walk of shame with this random guy that i had sex with at the hotel party, and the lady at the front desk said "wow you're just now leavin?"
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
Her husband keeps getting drunk and making out with me. Good news is I found the strep carrier. Bad news is have strep again.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
