if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Btw. Made out with a random kid at a frat. It's all good though. He invited us to his frat party tomorrow so yay! For having plans!
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Already at the river; already getting fucked up. And yes that semicolon is legit because those are congruent statemests
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
Randomize
