Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
It is virtually impossible to listen to single ladies and perform any seated task.
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I'm not sending you pictures to jack off to. That's not what friends do
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
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