1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Just found out Brianna Frost the Pornstar goes to my school. Makes that $35,000 tuition that more valuable.
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Randomize
