The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I brought those bastards cookies so they can deal with my sex noise, fuck them and their roommate asses
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
