Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I want your puppy
I meant pussy
I would rather you take my puppy
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I fell asleep with a half eating burrito in my hand and woke up to cat vomit with burrito in it.
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
And he claims I gave him “fuck me” eyes while he was ordering me a happy meal
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
