We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I'm pretty sure she sent a group text out saying that I was the one to get with her last night and sorry to everyone who didnt make it.
Honestly it was an honor just to be nominated.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
well, obviously he didn't fuck me for my strong moral fiber.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
How was the birthday sex?
Shit got outta hand. Honestly I think even my STDs have STDs.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
An orgasm and grocery shopping is the appropriate start to every Monday.
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
she is currently in the shower drinking a beer and dancing to a song called "the penis song" my roommate is cooler than yours
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