At least with the last gf I made it clear that I wanted to breakup when I pissed on her floor @ 3am as her roommate watched in contempt
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
I feel like I would bang a guy with a dick piercing just to say I have...like climbing a huge mountain or somethig
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
Trying not to look at her chest is like trying to not hear a fire engine racing by.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
THE SUPER HOT BARTENDER WHO LOOKS LIKE RYAN GOSLING JUST WALKED IN. BUT HE DOESNT EVEN WALK HE GLIDES. LIKE AN ANGEL.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
