yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I wish you could take over my body and feel what my nipple feels like right now
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
You were upset that she was flirting with your boyfriend so I thought the best game plan was to show her my boobs and get her to make out with me instead. I am the greatest friend on absinthe.
She leaned in close to me, made eye contact, and seriously whispered "I will eat your soul with bacon bits." I want whatever drug she was on.
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
Randomize
