i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
Breakfast of vicodin and eggs out of a solo cup at about three in the afternoon on a wednesday...I have my life together
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Princesses don't give blow jobs
My professor just suggested making the state of the union more interesting by turning it into a drinking game. Brilliant!!
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
We broke the shower door. Completely off. His roommates were not happy but I sure was
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
I have a callous on the palm of my hand just below my ring finger that is entirely from opening so many beer bottles. I'm strangely proud right now.
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
i need to start buying Plan B in bulk and leaving them at the door. I'm really sick of walking to CVS with my one-nighters
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
Randomize
