he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I swear, he has the body awareness of an acid-tripping quadriplegic.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
Anyway. I unfriended all of these people like a grown up and I am never talking to them again
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm about to have a bowl of Advils... without any fucking milk.
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Randomize
